dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
