I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
