Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
