I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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