I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
