I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
