Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
