after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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