I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
