So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
