My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
