It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
nutella sex= disaster
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
