why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
