Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
