It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
