you would pick up someone in the library
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
