think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
