He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
