I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
