Where did you get a picture of my penis
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
