we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
