Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
