You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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