i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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