Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
