it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
