I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
