last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
