would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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