Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
