I think scott just propositioned me for sex
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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