If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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