She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
