Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
