They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
