spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
