We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
