would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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