so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
