it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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