He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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