We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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