Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
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