she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
