I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
