At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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