whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
