Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
