idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
