you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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