GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
