redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
