I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
